Is the state of being in between
But it is also the state of
The state of being in two places, two phases, two worlds.
This is 19, this is standing on the threshold between girl and woman, free to be both.
Staying up late but still sleeping in the flannel pajamas Daddy bought me.
Red lipstick and cozy socks
High heels and pink thermals.
Bare feet on forest floor, and yet not quite
Knowing how to write an essay but not how to sew a rip.
This is aching to hold babies I see asleep in their mother’s arms
And aching just as much to be held myself.
Flirting with boys and cuddling with girls
In love with the idea of love but
more in love with feminism.
This is pop music and social justice,
Big dreams and no one to tell me they can’t be reached.
This is a body in stages
I have woman hips, a woman chest
But I have child’s hand’s, big brown child eyes.
I wear my hair long and hide in its comfortable softness,
Dress in grownup dresses but also bright patterns, tight jeans, big sweaters.
I have left the nest but am still learning to fly.
I have strong opinions I know will change,
I have seen just enough o know how blind I am.
I make mistakes every day, but often help others mend theirs.
I am taken seriously and allowed to be ridiculous.
I am unfinished.
I am blissful.